developmental delay at 18 months
I've saved this post for the end of my little mini-series because...well...I hate to admit to Luke's developmental delay. I love my baby boy dearly, and I know that he could have challenges so much greater than a mild developmental delay, but I still cringe inside thinking about it. I hate that my Luke is "behind." I hate that he isn't "normal" in his development. I hate that he has a label that makes people feel sorry for him.
I have come a long way since Luke's initial diagnosis. And Luke? Well he's blown us all out of the water. Instead of showing progress in a slow & steady fashion, he likes to wait until he's fully capable of the next milestone before trying. He likes to master his skills all at once. my little perfectionist. :)
Luke was initially diagnosed with a developmental delay for his gross motor delays; it was also discovered that he had an acute fine motor delay. However! Both areas have been remediated and we are up to "normal" development standards now. PRAISE GOD! But, as with many children who have developmental delays, he has now fallen behind in another realm. This time, it's his verbal language. Luke doesn't talk much. at all. He doesn't use 6-8 words like "they" say the average 18-month-old should. Luke doesn't repeat words/sounds for us. He does babble and make specific sounds for specific things ("mama" for me and "cuuk" when he wants you to help him read/play) but not to the extent that he "should" be able to.
So what's the next step? We will have a speech therapist come out and evaluate his speech. The pediatrician and our case manager both think that he will test out in the delayed category and qualify for speech services. Then we will start to meet with a speech therapist, either weekly or every other week, until he reaches the appropriate milestones.
Luke has grown leaps and bounds in the year since his initial diagnosis. But I've grown even more. I no longer fear for his future. Instead, I firmly believe that my boy IS exactly where he needs to be. And though he's not talking enough in the eyes of developmental pediatricians, he IS a good communicator. He expresses joy and fear and excitement and frustration, just not in the way "most" do it. And just like his gross motor skills, I firmly believe that his speech will come at the right time, at Luke's time.
God has blessed Luke so abundantly. He can walk and run and play like any other 18-month-old. He is healthy and growing well. He is happy and joyful and such a delight to be around. And this experience has taught me a valuable lesson as well. My fears aren't irrelevant to God. He knows I have those fears and wants me to give those insecurities over to Him. And in it's place? I'm learning to replace that fear with faith, that timidity with strength, only through God's great love.
not as the world gives, do I give to you.
Let not your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful."
-John 14:27
Ashley this shows what a great mama you are that you got intervention early enough that Luke has caught up in gross and fine motor! I know when my son was diagnosed with a speech delay it broke my heart, but 8 months later he was caught up past his age in speech. Now we can not get him to stop talking! You are doing a great job and Luke is so blessed to have you for a mom!
I've loved following Luke's progress and your honesty as a mother. As a teacher we work with many students with disabilities, especially speech, but I never thought "what if my child had one of these disabilities." You are doing such a great job advocating for intervention early. That in itself will help him more than anything. Just think maybe on his Kindergarten report card, his teacher will have to mark an X next to "talks at appropriate times". :)
Aww Ashley you are doing everything exactly right on! Honestly every picture I see of Luke reflects a spunky and inquisitive 18 month old.. And in a few years I'm sure this will all be a distant thought. Early intervention is key and with the progress he's made, everything will even out soon. He has the best parents he could ask for. Be peaceful.
Ashley, thanks for writing about this!! Sam is in almost the EXACT same place right now... Jeff doesn't really want me to blog about it - which is hard for me - but it is on my mind ALL the time!!! We actually have our evaluation with a private speech therapist on Monday. If you email me, I'd be happy to tell you how it goes and what to expect. You are NOT alone in this, and you are a wonderful example to me!!
When I look at photos of Luke, I see nothing but a kid that is VERY VERY loved!!
E
I've read through all of these posts and have cried through all of them! You are a strong, great mama to Luke. I will be praying for you guys as you continue on! A question about the speech...how many words did he have at 13-14 months??
Wonderful update! Especially thinking back to your original posts, it's amazing to see how very far he and you have come! Praise God for wonderful developments, and praying with you that speech is another one you look back on excitedly as you see how much he improves over the next months.
I think you are a great Momma that knows exactly what Luke needs. No two children are the same and he has proved to you time and time again that he can surpass these "labels". Keep doing what you are doing! Much love!
I agree with all of the above comments....
My son, who is now 5, was very similar to Luke from how you've described him. We were never really diagnosed with a delay, but it was there.
Most of the specialists and therapists we talked to said not to worry so much about how many words he can say, but how much he comprehends.
This was always really frustrating for me because I wanted an easy fix for him and they couldn't give me one. He would get very frustrated too, because he couldn't communicate what he wanted or needed.
Doctors and therapists just kept telling me to give it time, and they were right.
Now, he pretty much talks non stop.
Anyway, just keep doing what you're doing and I know things will turn out great for Luke!
Look at how he's already overcome so much in his short 18 months!
Ok, REALLY?? I think we should live closer. Seriously. So you know we've been seeing at speech therapist because of PFB's hearing loss (and eating issues). We also had to see a PT for awhile due to "slow" gross motor development skills. She was never labeled with a developmental delay and I don't think she had one so I realize it is a little different, but the girl didn't sit up till she was 7 months or so, didn't crawl till she was 11 months old and things progressed pretty well from there I think. She started pulling up I think around 14 months and walking at 15 months. Anyhow, we have now graduated from PT. Despite her hearing loss she has always been a talker. She might have started her first words a little later (at least that's what they told me but I think they like to make me worry... She did not have any words at 1 year but by 13 or 14 months she had a couple) and once she got a few words they multiplied exponentially! (Oh and she didn't drink out of a sippy cup till she was a year old either...)
Are you in a babies can't wait program or some sort of state program that helps coordinate your therapy? Just curious.
Anyhow, so happy to hear that Luke has now "caught up" to kids his age developmentally and that YOU feel good about it all. I'm sure the Lord has taught you a lot through motherhood and ALL for His glory. Here's to more challenges to come :) (Pretend I am holding up a beer with that...maybe 2)
beautiful!
Your Luke is so precious. I see him taking those shapes and putting them (or trying) to put them in the right spots. That's amazing. That takes so much effort and skill. And sitting there, reading his books, taking the time to open the flaps. Wow. But I do have a few questions. What made you think he had a delay? What made you question his growth? My son is 13 months old and will not put shapes in the boxes, he just take it and tosses it, he also won't stack his rings. He likes for us to read to him, but if we gave him books, he just eats them. He wants to put everything in his mouth, still. How can I tell if there is some type of delay? Do you have suggestions on sensory play? How important do you think that is? I have never done it.
as a parent, it's never easy to hear that your child isn't 'normal' but to us, they are perfect. know that whatever you do for luke, is the right thing.
after reading this, i will get on that email i said i'd write up about my son's speech issues and our journey since we've started.
This is such a real and beautiful post! Being a mom is so hard and we will always worry for our little ones. But thankfully I, like you, have faith in Him and know that He is always watching over and guiding our babies in the path that's been laid out for them. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Luke is adorable and he's so lucky to have you as his Momma.